I spent months and months praying for babies and, since then, I’ve prayed and prayed for God to lead me in how to raise them. It seems as though the hardships of motherhood are rarely spoken of. No one warns you about how incredibly challenging parenting is or the toll it takes on your marriage in the beginning. Sadly, I think it’s because we don’t want to admit that we’re struggling or feeling defeated or that we want to strangle our husbands and get a break from our kids, so we just pretend that our lives are perfect and everything is peachy. Well, I’m here to say that children are h a r d and marriage, with young kids, can be even harder. Your children can push your buttons and piss you off like no other (and so can your spouse). There are days when I just want to lock myself in my room with a good book and bottle of wine with large sign on the door that says NO PARENTING TODAY! MOMMY IS ON PTO! Except, we don’t get paid and we don’t get time off. And, for some reason, the minute we get away from the little rascals, we start to miss them.
Every age comes with new rewards and new challenges. As soon as you think you’ve mastered one child and their personality and the most effective way to reason with them, teach them and/or punish them, you have a second child that seems to be TOTALLY different. What the heck? Now we have to figure this out all over again. It’s a juggling act, really. What works for one child may very well not work for another and the same is true for mommas, families, and marriages. We’re all marching to the beat of a different drummer. Through it all, we just have to remember to give ourselves grace, our spouses grace and everyone else grace. Mommyhood ain’t easy, but we’re doing a damn good job! Sure, we may have laundry piled up and dishes in the sink, but our kids are healthy and flourishing and we’re all doing the best we can with our own circumstances.
We just have to remember to make time for ourselves and make our marriage a priority. It’s so easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle of life, kids, and work, but kid-free time does a body good. It’s amazing what a few hours away from my kids, doing anything that I choose, can do for my soul. Go shopping, get a pedicure, whatever…you deserve it and, more so, you NEED it! And, while you’re at it, plan a date night with your husband. Fix your hair and wear something pretty, he’ll love it and you will, too.